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Revenge is a Scourge
Revenge is a Scourge
I read an article last night that talks about the lack of benefit in revenge. The article notes several studies suggesting that those who seek to get even are more likely to be unemployed, less happy and had fewer friends. Get this, in another study, those who sought revenge were more likely to stew longer and feel more agitated than those who did not seek it. Paul tells us in Romans 12:18 “to do our part to live in peace with everyone as much as possible”. There are many other scriptures that urge us to be at peace with others, when we can. There are also scriptures that tell us God will take revenge for us. Could it be that when we do not choose to let scripture guide our behavior, we will suffer? (Der!) Think about the implications on your relationships. Instead of choosing to punish with silence or lash out in anger, you choose peace and gentleness. Seems very difficult but I know the way of the Lord is not easy. I challenge you to “be at peace with others” the next time you feel wronged or injured.
Grief in Bleak Midwinter
This article will appear in the Christian Family Institute's newsletter coming soon.
If you have lost a loved one in the last year, then you will likely find this holiday season to be painful. Instead of celebrating, you may find yourself feeling very sad, angry and wanting to isolate. People often find the first holiday after a significant loss to be the most difficult. You may be asking yourself “How am I going to get through this Christmas?” Here are a few suggestions for working your way through:
1) Set realistic expectations for yourself. The most realistic expectation may be that you just get through this season. Hosting parties and spending time and energy on special gifts may be too much to accomplish this year. Make sure you talk with your family about any changes you need to make.
2) Make sure you take care of yourself. Grief takes a lot of energy. You may not be able to do all (or any) the holiday activities. One of the best self care acts: get enough rest.
3) Keep on grieving. Be careful about allowing yourself to be distracted from grieving by the activities of this season.
4) Keep talking. This holiday season is not the time to neglect your thoughts and feelings. In fact, now more than ever you may struggle with deep sorrow, crushing anger and devastating loneliness. These are experiences to talk about to trusted friends and family. If you have a therapist, make sure you make an appointment before Christmas, even if you do not think you need it.
5) Do something to honor your loved one. Light a candle during Christmas Eve dinner or attend a Longest Night Service ( www.shbc-tulsa.org find information on the events page in the November newsletter). Find something meaningful to mark your loved one’s place in the family.
Grief can be a difficult and complicated process and a holiday season will often add to the struggle. If you feel you need extra help and support during this time, please call The Christian Family Institute at 745-0095. Any of our therapists can help you through your grief.
Jill Butler, MS, LMFT
Blog Entry 4
Under contruction, please be patient. JB